10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom.

Sex not only feels good. It can also be good for you. Here’s what a healthy sex life can do for you.

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1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,”.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as:

Eat right.

Stay active.

Get enough sleep.

Keep up with your vaccinations.

Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,”..

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women's Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure,

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That's the first number on your blood pressure test.

5. Counts as Exercise

“Sex is a really great form of exercise,”. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.

Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV. It gives you a one-two punch: It bumps up your heart rate and uses various muscles.

So get busy! You may even want to clear your schedule to make time for it on a regular basis.  “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits,”

6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

“When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,”.

Having sex more often may help. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

7. Lessens Pain

Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an orgasm.

“Orgasm can block pain,”. It releases a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold.Stimulation without orgasm can also do the trick. “We’ve found that vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and many women have told us that genital self-stimulation can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache,” http://amzn.com/B00GYBLNY6

8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

Going for the gusto may help ward off prostate cancer.

Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer during one study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

You don’t need a partner to reap this benefit: Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation were all part of the equation.

It's not clear that sex was the only reason that mattered in that study. Lots of factors affect cancer risk. But more sex won’t hurt.

9. Improves Sleep

You may nod off more quickly after sex, and for good reason.“After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness" after sex.

10. Eases Stress

Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.

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7 Solutions That Can Save a Relationship

Rocky road? Get your love life back on track.

It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going, says marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple, author of The Marriage Turnaround. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

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Relationship Problem: Communication

All relationship problems stem from poor communication, according to Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families. "You can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section," she says.

 Make an actual appointment with each other, Shimberg says. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.

If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.

Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."

Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.

Relationship Problem: Sex

Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Mary Jo Fay, author of Please Dear, Not Tonight, says a lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up, Fay says. "Sex," she says, "brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy."

 Plan, plan, plan. Fay suggests making an appointment,  but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. "When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation," Fay says. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too, she says. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?

Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal "Sexy List," suggests California psychotherapist Allison Cohen. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.

If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues

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Relationship Problem: Money

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) recommends that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.

Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.

Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

Don't blame.

Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

Relationship Problem: Struggles Over Home Chores

Most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labor at home, says Paulette Kouffman-Sherman, author of Dating From the Inside Out.

Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home, Kouffman-Sherman says. "Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what." Be fair so no resentment builds.

Be open to other solutions, she says. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

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Relationship Problem: Not Making Your Relationship a Priority

If you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say "I do." "Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority," says Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

Do the things you used to do when you were first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other through the day, and show interest in each other.

Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.

Respect one another. Say "thank you," and "I appreciate..." It lets your partner know that they matter.

Occasional conflict is a part of life, according to New York-based psychologist Susan Silverman. But if you and your partner feel like you're starring in your own nightmare version of the movie Groundhog Day -- i.e. the same lousy situations keep repeating day after day -- it's time to break free of this toxic routine. When you make the effort, you can lessen the anger and take a calm look at underlying issues.

You and your partner can learn to argue in a more civil, helpful manner, Silverman says. Make these strategies part of who you are in this relationship.

Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and how you react.

Be honest with yourself. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy.

Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that's brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result this time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your partner is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.

Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.

"You can't control anyone else's behavior," Silverman says. "The only one in your charge is you."

Relationship Problem: Trust

Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?

You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips, Fay says.

Be consistent.

Be on time.

Do what you say you will do.

Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.

Be fair, even in an argument.

Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.

Call when you say you will.

Call to say you'll be home late.

Carry your fair share of the workload.

Don't overreact when things go wrong.

Never say things you can't take back.

Don't dig up old wounds.

Respect your partner's boundaries.

Don’t be jealous.

Be a good listener.

Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, Sherman says you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether. 

First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly," she says

Next, use humor -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.

Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom.

1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as:

·         Eat right.

·         Stay active.

·         Get enough sleep.

·         Keep up with your vaccinations.

·         Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,” says Lauren Streicher, MD. She is an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, she says, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women's Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure, says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. He is CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness.

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That's the first number on your blood pressure test.

5. Counts as Exercise

“Sex is a really great form of exercise,” Pinzone says. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.

Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV. It gives you a one-two punch: It bumps up your heart rate and uses various muscles.

So get busy! You may even want to clear your schedule to make time for it on a regular basis.  “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits,” Pinzone says.

6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

“When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,” Pinzone says.

Having sex more often may help. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely

7. Lessens Pain

Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an orgasm.

“Orgasm can block pain,” says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, a distinguished service professor at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. It releases a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold.

Stimulation without orgasm can also do the trick. “We’ve found that vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and many women have told us that genital self-stimulation can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache,” Komisaruk says.

8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

Going for the gusto may help ward off prostate cancer.

Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer during one study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

You don’t need a partner to reap this benefit: Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation were all part of the equation.

It's not clear that sex was the only reason that mattered in that study. Lots of factors affect cancer risk. But more sex won’t hurt.

9. Improves Sleep

You may nod off more quickly after sex, and for good reason.

“After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness" after sex, says Sheenie Ambardar, MD. She is a psychiatrist in West Hollywood, Calif.

10. Eases Stress

Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Ambardar says touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too, Ambardar says. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.

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How to Rekindle the Spark in Your Relationship

How to Rekindle the Spark in Your Relationship

Focus on the positive.

Remember those fabulous qualities you noticed in your partner when you started dating? Time and stress may have brought their less-favorable traits into sharper focus, says psychologist Elizabeth R. Lombardo, PhD. But their good qualities are probably still there.

Fixating on the negatives wouldn't have worked in the beginning and it doesn't work now. "In marriage, it's easy to freeze your partner into a fixed perception. Get out of that," says Sherrie Campbell, PhD. She is a marriage and family therapist in Yorba Linda, Calif.

Make a list of what you fell in love with and another list of good things you've discovered over time. "Publicly brag about those amazing qualities your partner has," Campbell says. "Refrain from making him the brunt of a joke. Embrace his positive qualities and let him know you've fully got his back."

Do something crazy (or new).

One study found that couples who did novel and arousing things together felt better about their relationships than those who stuck with routine, mundane activities.

"It's amazing what getting out of your normal routine and pushing your comfort boundaries will do for your love life," says Sheri Meyers, PsyD. She's the author ofChatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship.

The trick is to pick something fun and exciting, not just pleasant. Ride a roller coaster. Visit a far-flung destination.

Another option is to get competitive, suggests Rachel DeAlto, a communication and relationship expert in Point Pleasant, N.J.

"When you're physically competing and experiencing new things together, those dopamine levels soar, which replicates those early butterflies and gets you excited," she says. Try one-on-one activities like tennis, racquetball, skiing, hiking, or fishing.

Touch.

"So many couples hold back kissing, touching, or holding each other until they have time or the desire to have sex," says Meyers. But that's a mistake. Researchers have found that affectionate touch boosts the body's feel-good hormones.

Hug your partner. Hold hands. Be playful with touch.

"Whisper sweet and adoring things into your partner's ear. Brush against him in a sexually seductive way," says Meyers. "Affection is a way to make love all day outside of the bedroom."

Having fun during sex, instead of doing it for obligation's sake, can stoke the fires of your relationship. "Sex is the playground of a marriage," says Campbell. "Fun doesn't have to mean you have to engage in sexual acrobatics; it just means have fun."

Do you spend a lot of time trying read your partner’s mind? Limit the guess-work by being open and honest; it can bring you closer. "Ask your partner what he or she needs from you. Take turns. The goal is to show more and see more of each other, rather than defend the status quo," says Meyers. The rewards run deep. Great conversation often leads to more open, loving sex, she says.

Every discussion doesn't have to be serious. Lighthearted laughter goes a long way in lifting your spirits and reconnecting. Have fun. Crack a joke. Revel in the humor of a situation together. "There is nothing sexier than a smile and a happy partner," says Campbell.

Focus on you.

What fuels your passion? Maybe it's having an exciting career or training for a half marathon. No matter -- just get out and do it. When you love yourself and your life, you bring more energy and interest into your relationship.

"Independence and a sense of purpose are sexy," explains Campbell. When you take care of your own needs and pursue what you're passionate about, you become less predictable and more interesting to your partner.

It's a win-win situation. You'll be more confident and peaceful as you keep evolving, and your relationship will thrive.

Use your history.

Remember those things you did when you were romancing your new love? Make a list and do them again now, suggests Paul N. Weinberg. He is the co-author of The I Factor: Simple Insights for Connecting in Your Personal Relationships. "It could be as simple as a way you kissed your partner on the cheek or as elaborate as the effort you put into a special date."

Identify your relationship's strengths, then build on them, say Les Parrott, III, PhD, and Leslie Parrott, EdD, husband-and-wife founders of the Center for Relationship Development in Seattle. Know what works well in your relationship and do more of it.

Finally, dream big. Envision a future together than inspires you. Maybe it's a home bustling with a big family or vacations to new, exotic places. Whatever your dream, you can create a plan now to start making it happen

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Sex Is Important to Many Midlife Women

Sex Is Important to Many Midlife Women

Study finds some challenges with sexual function that can be remedied

The mechanics of sex may become a bit more difficult after menopause, a new study finds. But most women will continue to be sexually active as long as they feel sex is important.

The study, published online Feb. 10 in JAMA Internal Medicine, included 354 women who ranged in age from their 40s to mid-60s. All of the women reported being sexually active at the start of the study.

Each year for four years, researchers queried the women about their menopausal status and physical health. In the fourth year, women were specifically asked about their sexual function -- how strong their sex drive was, how easy or difficult it was to reach orgasm, and whether they had any trouble with arousal or vaginal dryness, or felt pain during intercourse.

After another four years, about 85 percent of the women continued to be sexually active. Women who stayed sexually active were more likely to be white, to have a lower body mass index (be thinner) and to say they felt sex was important.

"Women who felt that sex was highly important were about three times as likely to continue having sex as women who thought it was a little or not important," said study author Dr. Holly Thomas, a general internal medicine fellow at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine.

The good news is "if you go into midlife still sexually active, chances are, you're going to continue to be sexually active," Thomas said.

What caught the researchers off guard was that most women also scored poorly on the test of sexual function, meaning they reported significant physical difficulties with sex.

Thomas said that could mean a couple of things. The first is that the test, which was designed for premenopausal women, doesn't accurately reflect sexual intimacyat midlife. She thinks that after menopause, women may place a higher priority on kissing and touching than on intercourse, and the test they used in the study didn't really capture that.

She said the other thing it could mean is that women are using sexual aids, like lubricants, to overcome some of the trouble they have.

One expert on menopause was not surprised by the new findings.

"I think it resonates with what many of us have thought all along," said Dr. Margery Gass, an obstetrician/gynecologist at the Cleveland Clinic, in Ohio. She was not involved in the study.

"The quality of sexual activity for women as they age is much more than the sum of the various physical function components," said Gass, who is also executive director of the North American Menopause Society.

"That's not to say that there aren't some women who aren't having a very difficult time, but there are things that can be done for that," she said

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6 Ways to Get in the Mood

6 Ways to Get in the Mood

·         How to break the no-sex rut and why it matters.

·         Reviewed by Arefa Cassoobhoy, MD, MPH

·         You're both tired. The kids are light sleepers. You're not happy with your weight. You're stressed out over deadline pressures at work. There are many reasons people in long-term relationships find themselves reaching for the pillow or the remote control instead of their partner's body after the sun goes down.

·         But a healthy sex life is a key part of an intimate relationship, and neglecting it can push the two of you further apart.

·         18 Secrets Guys Wish You Knew

·         19 Secrets Women Wish You Knew

·         Problem No. 1: Same Old, Same Old

·         The Solution: Spice It Up

·         "When you're in a long-term relationship, you get into a routine," says ob-gyn Renee Horowitz, founder of the Center for Sexual Wellness in Michigan. "There's biological evidence that novel experiences cause the release of dopamine in thebrain." Dopamine is a chemical messenger that affects the pleasure center in your brain. "That's why it's so much easier," Horowitz says, "to get excited in a new relationship -- everything is novel, and your brain responds accordingly."

·         Obviously, you can't switch partners every time the excitement wanes. But you can change up some of the other factors. "Try a different place, a different time, a different position," Horowitz says. Have a morning quickie. Try sex in the shower or in a different room in the house.

·         Problem No. 2: Too Much to Do, Too Tired

·         The Solution: Take a Romantic Break

·         All couples are tired at the end of a long day. And it’s hard to have energy for romance by the time you get everyone to bed and deal with chores. But that can be changed.

·         "You have to prioritize what's important," sex educator Sadie Allison, whose best-selling books include Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! and Tickle Your Fancy, says."Tired as you might be, it's OK to just make it a quickie sometimes. Sex is so important to the overall health of your relationship."

·         Instead of waiting until it's time to put out the lights, take a break for a romantic encounter before you start the evening's chores, Allison says. "Make space and time where you can escape, and get creative." She says it isn't going to happen spontaneously. "You have to find the time and make a date."

·         Problem No. 3: 'Who Are You?'

·         The Solution: Rediscover Each Other -- Without Pressure

·         If you haven't had sex for some time, a come-on from your partner can feel very artificial and forced. It helps to reconnect in a non-sexual way first, says psychotherapist Christina Steinorth. "If you haven't had any kind of quality time together, you're not going to feel sexual," she says.

·         Steinorth says it’s important to mix it up: Forgo the old “dinner and a movie” cliché in favor of something new, and make it a priority on your calendar. "Schedule time each week for date night. [Try a] shared experience: biking, bowling, something silly. Plan a trip to the farmer's market and a stop for a cup of coffee every Sunday morning. Let it become a habit," Steinorth says, "and you'll feel reconnected. The desire will just grow from there."

·         A quick sexual encounter may regain its excitement once you’ve reconnected. "When the relationship's alive like that, the 10-minute ‘let's sneak off and do it' quickie works great," Steinorth says. "It's like your little secret and helps further build the bond between you. But that bond has to be there in the first place

·         The Solution: Focus on What You Do Like

·         Many of us have things we'd like to change about our bodies. Maybe you never lost the baby weight, or you're not happy with how you've stopped going to the gym.

·         "Ultimately, low self-image comes down to not being in love with yourself," Allison says. "And if you don't love yourself, you're not going to share yourself with someone else. Short of therapy for poor self-esteem, you can try finding things about yourself that you do like and focus on those sexually."

·         Or focus on your partner's body instead of your own. "What do you love about the person you're with? What about his or her body arouses you?" Allison asks. That way you can shift the focus from your own insecurities to what makes being together fun.

·         Problem No. 5: Sex Hurts

·         The Solution: Don't Suffer in Silence

·         Sometimes it's not that you're not feeling in the mood; it's that your body isn't cooperating because sex is painful. This can be a big issue for women approaching menopause, and you might be too embarrassed to tell your partner.

·         "As we age," Horowitz says, "estrogen levels decrease, and this affects a lot of organs, including the vagina. When tissues atrophy and thin out, losing some of their blood supply, intercourse becomes more painful.”

·         Fortunately, there are remedies for painful sex. For many patients, Horowitz prescribes a vaginal estrogen. Vaginal lubricants are also available over the counter. But check with your doctor if the pain continues. That way your doctor can rule out other, possibly more serious conditions that might be causing it.

·         Problem No. 6: You're Still Not in the Mood

·         The Solution: Find the Cause

·         A dwindling libido may be more than just a sign of aging. It may be a sign of another health problem. For example, depression, anxiety, and hormonal imbalances can all contribute to sexual dysfunction. In men, not being able to get an erection can be an early warning sign of diabetes or heart disease. And some medications, including antidepressants and blood pressure drugs, can lower your sex drive.

·         Behavioral issues can also interfere with your ability to have sex. Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption can put a damper on sexual response. Even the way you exercise can be a factor. For instance, too much time on the bike can lead to problems in bed.

·         "Both men and women who are always on their spin bike can have problems with orgasm and arousal," Horowitz says. That's because the pressure put on the pudendal nerve and artery can decrease the blood supply to that region.

·         There are remedies for these problems. Share your concerns with your health care provider, who can help you explore what alternatives you have

Problem No. 6: You're Still Not in the Mood continued...

Also, make sure you're getting enough sleep. Feeling well-rested can help. 

No matter what the reason for your diminished desire, getting back on track with your partner sexually is going to take some effort. "Sex takes work, and you have to focus on it just like everything in your relationship," Horowitz says. "There isn't a magic pill."

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7 Ways to Beat Stress

7 Ways to Beat Stress

If stress is starting to run you ragged, take heart. There are some easy ways to keep it from overtaking your day.

No. 1: Breathe Deeply

This simple strategy is a powerful stress fighter. It helps you:

·         Lower stress hormones

·         Lower your heart rate

·         Bring down your blood pressure

Here's how to do it:

1.     Sit quietly with one hand on your stomach, the other on your chest.

2.     Breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, filling your lungs.

3.     Hold your breath for a few seconds.

4.     Breathe out slowly through your mouth until all the air is out of your lungs.

5.     Repeat four more times.

No. 2: Meditate

This ancient practice relaxes your mind and the body.

For several minutes each day, sit quietly and comfortably. While you do this, focus your mind on one of these things:

·         Your breathing

·         An object

·         A specific word or phrase (mantra)

As thoughts and distractions intrude, gently push them away. Return to your focus.

You can do meditation alone or with a group.

No. 3: Exercise

To get your heart rate up with an aerobic exercise:

·         Walk

·         Cycle

·         Swim

Just 20 minutes a day will calm your mind and lower stress hormones.

Exercise also boosts endorphins, brain chemicals that improve your mood. Even light exercise can relax you, though harder workouts offer greater health rewards.

No. 4: Practice Guided Imagery

This technique has the same relaxation benefits of deep breathing. Here's how it works:

·         Sit somewhere quiet and picture yourself in a calm and peaceful place, such as a beach. Imagine walking through this place and taking in its sights, sounds, and smells.

·         While your imagination is working, breathe slowly and deeply.

·         Keep this up until you are fully relaxed.

·         Ease back slowly into the real world.

To get started, you can search online for podcasts that will talk you through the process. Nurses, counselors, therapists, or other professionals can also help you learn how to do this on your own.

No. 5: Eat Well

Foods rich in vitamin C, like oranges and grapefruits, may help lower your stress hormones. Omega-3s, like those found in salmon and other fatty fish, as well nuts and seeds, may also be calming.

In general, fueling your body well with a balanced diet can help keep your body healthy and better able to handle stress. Part of eating well means focusing on getting whole grains, vegetables, and fruits.

Want something sweet? Dark chocolate may have a calming effect by lowering stress hormones.

No. 6: Talk Positively to Yourself

Being self-critical can add to your stress. So try the opposite approach. Help yourself relax by practicing positive self-talk.

Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. In other words, be the little engine that could. Tell yourself "I think I can" rather than "I know I can't."

No. 7: Sleep Well

Getting a good night's sleep can help you fight stress the next day. Go for at least 7 hours a night.

Try these tips if you're having trouble:

·         Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day -- even on the weekends.

·         Avoid caffeine after 3 p.m. and alcohol close to bedtime.

·         If you take naps, do so early in the day rather than too close to bedtime.

·         Exercise regularly.

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