Morning Mood Boosters

 Morning Mood Boosters

Guarantee a better day by starting your a.m. off right with these easy tricks

 

Have you ever noticed that what happens during the morning hours often sets the tone for the rest of the day? When things go smoothly, you tend to feel more relaxed and ready to face whatever the day may bring. However, when things get bumpy before you’ve even managed to get dressed, you’re more likely to remain grumpy until bedtime. While some hassles can’t be avoided, you can make mood-enhancing decisions during the a.m. hours that will set the stage for the next 16 or so. We spoke with the experts and combed the latest research for 10 pick-me-ups that will have your mood rising like the morning sun. Try one (or all!) of them for a happier and healthier you.

1. Pick one “spoil-me” task to do. 
When you wake up, give yourself 30 seconds to think of at least one nice thing you can do for yourself that day…and then do it. When Alice Domar, PhD, psychologist and coauthor of Live a Little! Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health, was in Los Angeles for a book tour one winter, she woke up much earlier than usual. But instead of fretting about lost zzz’s, she realized with excitement that she could score some fresh fruit at the nearby farmer’s market, which would’ve been impossible if she were back home in Boston. That impromptu side trip kept her mood lifted throughout the day.

2. Eat a well-balanced meal. 
Start your morning with a nutritious mix of complex carbohydrates and proteins that will last you until lunch, such as oatmeal or toast with peanut butter (include a sprinkle of cinnamon, which one study linked to improved mood and alertness, for an extra boost). Other research found that a moderate amount of caffeine (200 mg, or the amount in about two cups of coffee) elevated mood and mental sharpness, so enjoy some joe or black tea with your breakfast.

3. Get some fresh air. 
Head out for some “green exercise”—physical activity performed in an outdoor setting—even if you only have a few minutes to spare. Researchers found that people experienced an enhanced mood and higher self-esteem after just five minutes of various types of green exercise, including walking and gardening. The study also found that exercising near water amplified the effects, so if you live near a lake, river or waterfall, even better.

4. Listen to the sounds of nature. 
Capture the benefits of the great outdoors, even if you can’t get outside, by listening to recorded nature sounds. In a recent study, participants recovered from a stressful situation more quickly when they listened to a recorded combination of running water and bird sounds. Open your window in the morning so you can hear Mother Nature’s music as you get ready, or invest in an alarm clock that eases you awake with nature sounds.

5. Focus on feeling good. 
Right after waking up, Robyn McKay, PhD, a psychologist based in Tempe, Arizona, and founder of the Smart Girl-Modern Goddess coaching program, recommends taking five deep breaths and making the decision to feel good for the day. “Imagine that, even when you encounter frustrations and surprises, you will remember to breathe and respond mindfully—rather than react mindlessly—to your circumstances,” she says. Dr. McKay also suggests that, throughout the day, you “take five deep, intentional breaths and remind yourself of your decision to feel good.”

6. Drink hot chocolate. 
A recent study found that sipping a drink containing cocoa flavonols improved participants’ moods and levels of alertness—even as they worked on a series of challenging math problems. So go ahead and savor some hot cocoa made with lowfat or skim milk and dark chocolate. The protein and carbs in the milk will help keep your blood sugar levels stable until lunch, which will help you hold on to your mood momentum.

7. Take a moment to assess yourself. 
Don’t jump out of bed right when you open your eyes in the morning. Instead, take five minutes to pay attention to your body and notice if you feel any stiffness, then do some light stretching while breathing deeply, suggests Lynn Louise Wonders, LPC, RPT-S, RYT, a psychotherapist and yoga teacher in Marietta, Georgia. She notes, “Before racing off to the hundred things on the day's to-do list, it can be tremendously beneficial to claim these five minutes to tune in to your body and your breath. You'll find that you are more ‘present’ and better equipped to deal with the busyness of the day ahead.”

8. Envision the negative. 
You’ve probably heard that gratitude is a mood elevator, but here’s a surprising twist to that tactic: Think about a positive event from your life—how you got your dream job or met your ideal partner, for instance—and then imagine what your life would be like if the event hadn’t happened. Though it seems like this would have the opposite effect, it actually improved the mood of one study’s participants more so than simply thinking of the positive event itself.

9. Breathe in some mint. 
Researchers found that sniffing peppermint enhanced mood and attention while also fighting fatigue. Try keeping a bottle of peppermint essential oil or bag of peppermint tea on your nightstand so you can inhale the positive scents right as you wake up. Another happiness helper is chewing gum, which elevated the moods, alertness and attention spans of another study's participants. Pop a piece of peppermint gum after breakfast for a double-duty perk-up.

10. Smile. 
There’s one thing you can do just about anywhere: Smile. “Remember,” says Dr. McKay, “smiling is a simple way to change your mood—and the mood of those around you, too.” So spread your good-mood wealth by baring those pearly whites as often as possible in the morning as well as throughout the day.

12 Tips to Avoid Daytime Sleepiness

Not surprisingly, the problem of daytime sleepiness usually starts at night. Even missing just a few nights’ sleep, or not getting enough uninterrupted sleep, can slow you down and sour your mood.

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Poor sleep habits are often the cause of daytime sleepiness. Before you go through any more groggy and crabby days, try these 12 ways to improve nighttime sleep and avoid daytime sleepiness.

1. Get adequate nighttime sleep.

That may sound obvious, but many of us succumb to shaving an hour or two off our sleep time in the morning or at night to do other things. Most adults need seven to nine hours a night, and teenagers usually need a full nine hours. Block out eight or nine hours for sleep every night.

2. Keep distractions out of bed.

“Reserve your bed for sleep and sex,” says Avelino Verceles, MD, assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and director of the school’s sleep medicine fellowship. “You shouldn’t read, watch TV, play video games, or use laptop computers in bed.” Don’t do your bills or have heated discussions in bed either. They may leave you sleepless.

3. Set a consistent wake-up time.

People who have problem sleepiness are often advised to go to bed and get up at the same time every day, including on weekends. But randomly setting an ideal bedtime can lead to more frustration if you suffer from insomnia and already have trouble falling asleep, says Barry Krakow, MD, medical director of Maimonides Sleep Arts and Sciences Ltd. in Albuquerque, N.M., and author of Sound Sleep, Sound Mind: 7 Keys to Sleeping Through the Night.

Instead, Krakow suggests starting out by setting a wake-up time only. “Stick by that for the first few weeks or even months to establish a rhythm,” he says. “That process of always getting up at the same time helps to anchor the circadian rhythm. And if you do that and have a bad night, you’ll also to be sleepier the next bedtime.”

4. Gradually move to an earlier bedtime.

Another approach to getting into a consistent schedule is to try going to bed 15 minutes earlier each night for four nights. Then stick with the last bedtime. Gradually adjusting your schedule like this usually works better than suddenly trying to go to sleep an hour earlier.

5. Set consistent, healthy mealtimes.

Regular mealtimes, not just regular sleep times, help regulate our circadian rhythms. Eating a healthy breakfast and lunch on time -- rather than grabbing a doughnut and coffee in the morning or a late sandwich on the run -- also prevents energy deficits during the day that will aggravate your sleepiness. Plan to finish eating meals two to three hours before bedtime.

6. Exercise.

Regular exercise (30 minutes a day on most days) offers multiple benefits for sleep. Exercise, especially aerobic exercise, generally makes it easier to fall asleep and sleep more soundly.

Exercise also gives you more daytime energy and keeps your thinking sharp. And if you exercise outside in daylight, you get still more benefits. Sleep experts recommend 30 minutes of exposure to sunlight a day because daylight helps regulate our sleep patterns. 

7. De-clutter your schedule.

“If you don’t think you can allow seven or eight hours for sleep, then you need to look at your schedule and make some adjustments,” says Verceles. “Move some activities from nighttime to early evening or from early to late morning.” Try to eliminate tasks that aren’t really important. Getting enough sleep at night will help you function better during your remaining activities.

8. Don’t go to bed until you’re sleepy.

If you go to bed when you’re just tired, you probably won’t be able to fall asleep, Krakow says. “Distinguish between the feeling of sleepiness and being tired. Get into bed when you’re sleepy -- eyes droopy, you’re drowsy, you feel like you’re nodding off. It’s a very different kind of feeling.”

9. Don’t nap late in the day.

Late afternoon napping can make daytime sleepiness worse if because it can interfere with nighttime sleep.

10. Create a relaxing bedtime ritual.

A relaxation routine before bedtime can help you separate from the day -- especially from activities that are over-stimulating or stressful, making it difficult to sleep. Try meditation, soaking in a hot bath, listening to soothing music, or reading a book. A cup of herbal tea or warm milk can also be soothing, but skip those if they cause you to wake at night to go to the bathroom.

11. Avoid "nightcaps."

People often think that alcohol helps sleep, but it actually robs you of deep sleep, which is essential for feeling well rested. When the effects of alcohol wear off during the night, you’ll probably be wide awake again.

12. See a sleep specialist.

Daytime sleepiness can be caused by sleep disorders. If you are excessively sleepy consistently during the day even when you sleep well or if you fall asleep without warning during daily activities, you may have a sleep disorder such as narcolepsy or sleep apnea, a breathing problem that occurs during sleep. According to Krakow, undiagnosed and untreated sleep disorders are probably the greatest cause of daytime fatigue and sleepiness.

Problem sleepiness can also be caused by certain illnesses and medications. And mental conditions such as depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and anxiety are very commonly linked to sleep problems.

A sleep specialist can design a treatment program for you that treats the underlying sleep disorder and helps you develop better sleep habits and attitudes though cognitive behavioral therapy. Sometimes it takes a combination of medication and behavioral therapy to eliminate daytime sleepiness, but it can be done.

6 Marriage Mistakes Women Make

Avoiding these 6 things may make for a better marriage.

Attention, married women: What you don't know about marriage may spell trouble.

For instance, if you don't speak up for what you want, your husband is flying blind -- and not likely to deliver. And the way you talk about your issues may be making matters worse. And then there's the bedroom.

Getting married is easy. Being married can be trickier. Here is some expert advice to avoid or correct six common mistakes that can cost a marriage, or at the least, weaken its foundations. Whether it's you or your spouse making these mistakes, taking positive action can make a big difference.

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1. Being Too Quick to Please

Some wives are too willing to give up on what they want,

Some women tend to be "all about him" rather than all about themselves, as men tend to be, "Usually, they're afraid it could make a fight or some unpleasantness, or they just think somehow, on a subconscious level, in order to preserve the relationship, they have to diminish what they themselves want," she says. The sense of helplessness leads to anger that eventually boils over, she says.

Her solution? Express your concerns rationally, whether about housework orparenting duties, or about not getting enough time with your husband or for yourself. He may like golfing on weekends while she may want him around for family time, for example. "If she spoke up, they might be able to work out a better arrangement," Heitler says. "Maybe they'd switch to a softball league in the summer where it would be a family event.''

2. Not Being Clear About Expectations

Couples that function the best in marriage have made their expectations clear from the outset about division of labor, parenthood, and money, says family and marriage therapist But many couples don't have those discussions and are operating on auto-pilot. "Lots of couples operate on what they assume in their head because they grew up that way, that if it works for them, it works for their partners.

Resentment can easily build if expectations differ or are dashed on the rocks of hard reality. For example, he says some women "think having a baby will change their husband or bring him closer. What we know about marriage satisfaction is that it takes a massive dip when the first child is born. If they knew that before marriage ... it would help them navigate normal roadblocks and not freak out when it happens."

3. Underestimating the Effect of Tone of Voice

No matter who's speaking, man or woman, tone of voice can be an issue if it's tinged only slightly with negativity.

If you have concerns, Heitler encourages "verbalizing them in a respectful way," rather than speaking in a frustrated, irritated voice. 

By all means, discuss what's bothering you. But do it in a way that searches for solutions and alternatives, rather than venting in a way that puts a peaceful solution further out of reach.

4. Mismatched Communication Styles

If you feel you aren't being heard by your husband, you may want to explore the ways you try to get through to him.

Some women repeat their complaint or a concern a few times in an effort to get their husband's attention. Some men may call that nagging, but it may just be about having different communication styles.

Karam calls it the "demand-withdraw" dynamic: One person wants a conversation, but the other hasn't figured out how to respond or appears to have shut down, so the speaker presses further. "That's a vicious pattern," Karam says. 

If that happens in your relationship a lot, remember to pause to let your spouse absorb what you're saying and have "a chance to validate what they've heard," Karam says.

It might be useful to take a hard look at what is fixed -- personality quirks, for example -- and what can be changed. Citing the work of marriage/couples researcher John Gottman, Karam says nearly 70% of marital problems are "perpetual," meaning that these are issues that drag on. 

The challenge is to recognize what can't be corrected. It helps to "move toward acceptance," Karam says. "You're not going to change a cautious person into a risk-taker or an introvert into an extrovert.''

5. Not Making Sex a Priority

Whether it's fatigue or some other reason, many women don't make enough time for sex. That's a serious mistake, say Heitler and Karam.

"The reality is, what is best for everybody -- for them, their spouse -- is a healthy sex life," says Heitler. "It keeps the family a happy family. And what their kids need more than anything is parents who have a strong, positive bond.''

Karam says women need to build in time -- and by extension, desire -- to make love with their husbands. "They can't just drop everything and have sex with their husband. It's a product of spending alone time together, building anticipation throughout the week," he says.

Feeling sexy is a good way to start, and that means a woman must make herself a priority.

"Generally, if you're a woman, you have to prioritize self-care. If you feel good about yourself, you're probably going to feel sexual," Karam says

6. Forgetting to Cherish Their Partner

Some women get so focused on kids, work, and home that they forget to make the small gestures that go a  long way to solidifying their marriage.

"In healthy relationships, there are dollops of positivity, very frequently doled out," Heitler says. "They can be smiles, eye contact, hugs or touching, verbal comments like 'I agree with that' or 'good point' or even the word 'yes.' Listening, agreement, appreciation, affection -- those all send out positive energy that envelop both people in sunshine."

Those gestures remind both partners that they like each other, and friendship is at the heart of successful marriages, Karam says. Married people often "operate on out-of-date knowledge of self," he says, leading them away from true appreciation of their partners.

"It's a myth that a good marriage sustains itself," he says. "It's learning yourself, learning your partner. What you are at 24 is not what you are at 34.''

Exercises for Better Sex

To "keep your sex life awesome," exercise physiologist Rich Weil suggests these top five "sexercises." Though the following exercises are geared toward men, they also work great for women who want a boost to their sex life.

·         Pushups. If you're going to pick just one exercise to do, this is the one to go for, Weil says, "for all the obvious reasons." If you can’t do basic training-quality pushups at first, start with wall presses (essentially pushups done against the wall), aiming for 3 sets of 12 to 15 repetitions. When you're ready, progress to knee pushups on the floor, making sure to keep your back straight (squeeze your butt and suck in your gut) while you slowly touch your nose to the ground. Once you're ready to kick it up a notch, progress to traditional hand-and-toe pushups.

·         Abdominals . Weil, director of the New York Obesity Research Center Weight Loss Program at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital Center, says your abs are a critical sex-boosting body area to work on. "After all," he says, "you have to use your abdominal muscles during sex." Weil suggests starting your ab workout with good old-fashioned crunches. Lie on your back, hands supporting your neck, knees bent, and your feet on the floor. Then bring your body up just enough to get your shoulders off the ground. Do 3 to 5 sets of 15 to 20 repetitions.

For additional ab oomph, Weil suggests men and women also do bridges. Lying on your back, knees bent, feet on the floor, lift your hips up and down for 3 sets of 15 reps. Men can also try pelvic tilts. Standing up or lying down, straighten your lower back and pull your belly button in until your lower back touches the wall or floor. Women can try Kegels. Contract your pelvic muscles -- the ones you'd use to stop the flow of urine; squeeze the muscles tight for 3 seconds, then relax for 3 seconds. Do 10 to 15 repetitions three times a day.

·         Deadlifts . This exercise will keep your back as strong as it can be, Weil says, and give your legs and torso a workout too. Deadlifts, in which you start in a neutral bent-over position and raise a weighted barbell or dumbbells from the ground, are easy to do -- and easy to do wrong. So technique is important to prevent injury. Get some pro tips online or at your gym to be sure you're getting the most out of doing deadlifts.

·         Torso side bends and twists. To get the most from this exercise, as well as the next one, head to the gym. The effort is worth it because torso side bends and twists will keep your upper body strong, Weil says, and give you stamina. "Do them on the cable crossover machine for maximum effect."

·         Pushing or pulling exercise in the gym. Rows, flyes, and lateral raises on the cable crossover machine will do a great job of enhancing your performance in the bedroom, according to Weil. Remember to get a few quick tips from a pro on how to do these exercises most effectively.

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If you want even more sizzle, exercise for 20 minutes right before sex and, Weil promises, "you’ll never do better!"

If pushups, crunches, and deadlifts aren't your idea of a sweaty good time, you've still got plenty of exercise options to help keep things steamy.

Pick your pleasure. Rather walk, swim, or jog? How about Pilates or yoga? Maybe you prefer biking or skiing? Great, because Paul Frediani, fitness coach and co-author of Sex Flex: The Way to Enhanced Intimacy and Pleasure, says barring any health problems, cardiovascular exercise of any kind is a great way to stimulate your sex life.

But you'll want to avoid the weekend warrior syndrome to get the most bang for your exercise buck. Aim for a 30-minute workout five times a week. Get your blood pumping regularly and the payoff is simple: endurance, more strength to hold positions, and the flexibility to hold them in comfort. Now that's sexy.

Bonus: Better Erections

You may already be sold on the benefits of exercise, but here's a bonus at no extra charge. Exercise may help beat erectile dysfunction. One study showed that, for men over 50, being physically active means a 30% lower risk of erectile dysfunction as compared to men who are sedentary. Studies also show a strong link between obesity and ED.

In addition, people who exercise often have a better body image than people who don't. This can help them feel more sexually appealing. "One study found that 80% of men and 60% of females who exercised two to three times a week felt their sexual desirability was above average," Weil says.

Want to have sex like you're 20 years younger? Weil cites a study that showed swimmers in their 60s have sex lives comparable to people in their 40s. Other research found that, for men and women over 55, high levels of sexual activity were associated with higher degrees of fitness when compared to younger inactive people.

"Although there can be many factors to exercise and sexual activity, what some studies suggest is that people who are fit and active have more sex than sedentary people." The bottom line? "Being strong and flexible with lots of endurance will put the spunk into sex for you and your partner," Weil says.

And don't forget to develop the most important muscle of all. "Sex begins with the muscle between the ears," says Frediani, "not the muscles in your abs, arms, or thighs. If you feel healthy and have a positive body image, you will have a better sex life."

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